Happy Birthday: A memory for Mother's Day

My mom, me, and my sister at my top ten banquet

This is a true story from my childhood, about one of my favorite people, my Grandma. When I was a little girl, I spent everyday with my Mom's parents. When I was two, my Grandpa died from a heart attack during his sleep. Some people dispute the fact that we have memories from that age, but I remember my Grandpa. I remember the way he smelled like smoking tobacco, the way that he tickled me every time I saw him, I remember the night that he bought a speaker phone and called me, and I remember the way it felt when he hugged me. After my Grandpa died, I spent even more time at my Grandma's house. Later, we found out that my Grandma had cancer, and my mom tried to let me know that she was sick. This is the true story of the last day that I heard my Grandma sing (they loved music), and why Happy Birthday means more to me than most people. I want to share this writing with you, even though it's a day past Mother's Day, because we all need to be thankful for the people that are in our lives now. Happy Mother's Day Mom, I love you so much, you are my best friend, my biggest supporter, and the person I know I can always rely on!

Happy Birthday 

            Happy Birthday is a song that usually brings joy to someone on their birthday but for me, it brings me back to my childhood, and a memory that will be with me forever, especially on my birthday.

            My Grandparents on my mom’s side were amazing people who loved their grandchildren every single minute of every single day.  Every day my Mom and I would go to my Grandparent’s house and visit with them.  My Grandpa was such a funny man, when he bought a brand-new speaker phone, the first person he called was me and I was only two, but he had to call and talk to me on it.  Their house was always full of children and relatives because they had ten children and almost every one of them had children of their own.  But when I was two, my Grandpa died in his sleep from a heart attack and I know that it seems like I shouldn’t be able to remember him that well because I was so young, but I do because of all the love and joy that he brought to my life every day. I remember that he was six feet tall and like a giant to me.  He had started balding and all the rest of his hair had turned bright white. Every day he would tickle me and make me laugh for hours on end. He was a wonderful, dependable, and honest Grandpa that really changed my life even at that young age.

            Even after my Grandpa died, I still continued to go visit my Grandma practically every day, because I loved her just as much as I loved my Grandpa.  She had dark, curly, brown hair streaked with gray and startling blue eyes which I inherited from her.  Those eyes saw through every lie, big or little, but they also saw every hidden emotion in someone’s face.  She was warm, loving, funny, and one of the best cooks I’ve ever met. I remember how much my grandparents loved music, and how she would play the accordion and he would play the piano, and then they would sing together while all of us kids would dance and march.  My grandma was one of the strongest women I know, and she inspired me to be the woman that I have become today.

            One day, my mom sat me down and told me that my Grandma had cancer and that she might die, but that I could still visit her and be with her. I continued to see my Grandma during her battle with cancer, while my mom was taking care of her.  I was there when she lost her hair and had to wear a gray wig, when she lost the ability to walk and had to use a wheelchair, and finally when she could barely speak, and then when she couldn’t speak at all.

            Finally, my fifth birthday came and I spent that day home with my Mom, Dad, sister, and brother celebrating.  The next day, I went to my Grandma’s and I was sad to see that she was getting worse.  But all of a sudden, my Mom, with a huge smile on her face, brings out this small little cupcake, vanilla with vanilla frosting and sprinkles (my favorite), that has a lit candle on top, and she sets it down in front of me. Then, something wonderful happened that hadn’t happened in a very long time.  My Grandma started singing, she sang Happy Birthday to me three times, so gracefully and beautifully. That was the best birthday gift that I have ever gotten in my entire life. She wanted to give me one last gift that she knew I would love, appreciate, and always remember. Little did I know at the time, but those would be the last words that she would say and sing before she died.

            Nine days after my birthday, my brother, mom and I were at my Grandma’s after school like any other day, but something was different, something was wrong.  My mom told us to wait in the car while she went inside, and when she came back out she told us that she had to take us home for the afternoon instead.  At the time, I don’t think I really thought much of what was happening; after all I was only five, but I should have known because my mom’s face was all wrong. Her warm smile and kind tone was gone, and her eyes were resigned and sad. Later that night, my mom came into the living room at our house, and she bent down to me on the couch and said she had something to tell me.  My grandma had died that day, and all I could do was continue to watch Tom and Jerry while tears fell down my face, ones that I couldn’t seem to control. At her funeral, I couldn’t bear to cry and stand there while someone who barely knew her said things about her, so I took my little black umbrella and began to skip around the cemetery. Instead of being sad, I sang my little heart out for my Grandma that day in the cemetery because she sang to me, and because music made her so happy. I sang every song I knew, every song she had ever sung to me, and any song that I could make up. 

            Dealing with the death of two Grandparents that meant the world to me, was hard at such a young age. My mom also had a very hard time dealing with their deaths as well, but we developed this kind of game where when one of us would get sad about them, we would start talking about all the funny and happy things we could remember about them.  This is probably why I remember them so well even though I was so young when they died. Their deaths did bring sadness to my life, but it also made me realize the kind of person that I wanted to grow up to be someday. They made me realize that I loved music because it made me happy, and it reminded me of them.  That led me to play two different instruments, and to be in the school and marching band for nine years. They also made me realize that I wanted to help others the way they always helped me, and that led me to teaching as well as to reading and writing.  Although I was so young when they were alive, they influenced my life more than I could ever explain and it’s their love, humor, and courage that pushes me to pass my love of reading, writing, and music on to my students someday. You can be influenced and inspired in one moment, but that moment can affect a lifetime.