Today, I looked at my loans and all that I have to pay back for an education that I might not even use, a degree that is doing me no good now, and who knows if it might in the future. I pay all this money, put my life in debt, and then I don't even get to use my degree to do what I love, or to pay back those loans. This life, this economy, the way we are set up here in America just makes me want to fight someone sometimes! Tell kids to go to college, and rack up money in loans, and that it'll be okay because they'll have a degree to use. But what they don't tell us is that the economy sucks, unemployment sucks, and that loan people are effing sharks that just want their money no matter what! I am so freaking sick of all this shit, it makes me not want to go to grad school! I just want a job where I can afford to live, to buy food, and to be happy. Is that too much to ask for? Why go to college, when the job I'm doing now doesn't require it?
For so long I have been focused on getting a full time job, and now that I have that I am once again focusing on my future. Questions just keep plaguing me like: "What am I going to be doing in a year?" "Will I go to grad school?" "Will I get a teaching job?" "Will I stay at my current job?" "Will I get another job somewhere?" And now I just can't seem to get these questions out of my head. I feel so lost. I don't know what to do, where to apply, how to find new opportunities. Ever since I was a little kid, I have been striving for something. Whether it's doing well in sports each season, or getting good grades at the end of the year, getting Top 10 of my class, and then graduating high school, then it was doing well in college, finding a good major, and then graduating. Now that I am done with all that, I am finding that it's hard for me not to feel a little lost, lonely, confused, and without purpose. Once I discove...
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